HOLD THE DOOR

I feel like I can’t ignore this subject any longer. Yes, it’s extremely controversial but it is something that each and every one of us has encountered hundreds if not thousands of times in our lives. Of course, you know I’m talking about ‘holding the door’etiquette. I recently suffered what is known in medical parlance as a bloody nose when it was flattened by a degenerate who apparently couldn’t wait to get in the store and save that 10% on that coveted pair of camo hunting socks! To you, sir I say, may buckshot come raining down upon your flea-infested mullet.

It’s pretty obvious that we have lost our manners. Is it because we’ve all forgotten how to behave in public having been cooped up at home for all this time? Let us all just take a deep breath and try to remember how to interact with others in public, ok?

Let’s be honest. Deciding whether or not to hold the door for someone can be a difficult and gut-wrenching decision. There obviously are several factors to consider. For instance, how far away are they from the door?  Are they walking at a normal pace? Do they appear to be physically handicapped, thus requiring a longer period of time in which to reach you? Do they look like they agree with you politically? It’s a lot to ask your brain to process so quickly. Because the task can be a difficult one, I will offer this tip. Do a quick eyeball check to see if there’s an automatic door. There quite possibly could be one approximately five feet to your left.

There is something else to consider here and that is just how many people are we going to hold the door open for? We’ve all been there. We hold it for one and one turns into one hundred and ten. As I said before, people can be very rude. Oh sure, there will be a few that do that little hurry-up shuffle thing and offer a muted or silent ‘thank you,’ while others won’t even bother looking up from their phone. They’ll just pass a loud fart and plow right on through. By the way, these are the same people who show up at radio remote broadcasts, begging for a tee-shirt, then proceed to say they have six brothers at home, too.  

Ultimately, my hope is that we can all return to some semblance of public civility. Maybe it’s holding the door open for someone or it could be as simple as letting someone go ahead of you in the supermarket check-out line (making sure, of course, they won’t be writing a check first). We can do it America. I know we can. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to put another ice pack on my nose.

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